"My name is Ina."
The teacher, an unfriendly American(or was he Canadian? can't remember) said:
"ok, and what's your English name?" I was stupefied.
"You have to choose one"
That was true- I looked around the room, saw Lucy, Elisabeth, and Steven. I always lack of naming sense and he had no much time.
"Ok then....Jennifer, you are Jennifer."
Oh how I dislike this name! But I couldn't protest because I hadn't a better suggestion, so I had been Jennifer on tuesdays, thursday and saturdays. Mom even wrote this name on my bag with a black naming pen.
I can't think of another name that may suits on me apart from my birth given name-Ina, thou I didn't like surname Bak. All those cool girls in my school were Choi or Kim or Lee, even Ji. Every year there were always three or four Bak girls, who were not pretty, nor witty. If I were Lee or something, I would have been cool, I thought. Jennifer has exact same smell with Bak. Outraged to this teacher, I pondered on finding names that may suit on me, resulted not a single one.
If I were Beatrice, Linsey or Cissy, everyone would loved me, I thought.
However Im matured-enough to have some self esteem, accept that blaming on my name doesn't make a sense.
Years later, a skinny, cheerful young Indian boy gave me this name-Chiku. It is the name of a fruit originally, and I liked it. But Chiku can't beat Ina in every way.
Sometimes, rather frequently I got bored to being Ina. Obviously it is an unhealthy, unproductive, and boring idea one can possibly have. If I were perfectly and fully being Ina, I won't get bored anymore, I think.
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I can't think of another name that may suits on me apart from my birth given name-Ina, thou I didn't like surname Bak. All those cool girls in my school were Choi or Kim or Lee, even Ji. Every year there were always three or four Bak girls, who were not pretty, nor witty. If I were Lee or something, I would have been cool, I thought. Jennifer has exact same smell with Bak. Outraged to this teacher, I pondered on finding names that may suit on me, resulted not a single one.
If I were Beatrice, Linsey or Cissy, everyone would loved me, I thought.
However Im matured-enough to have some self esteem, accept that blaming on my name doesn't make a sense.
"What's your nickname?"
I had to make a choice again when I joined to a lesbian community. Everyone had a second identity there.
"Well, I'm Ina." Was my answer. Later on few regretful moments had passed by-of not having a nickname. But I had no courage to advert to the world that I'm no more Ina. Oh how life is tough, I thought.
Years later, a skinny, cheerful young Indian boy gave me this name-Chiku. It is the name of a fruit originally, and I liked it. But Chiku can't beat Ina in every way.
Sometimes, rather frequently I got bored to being Ina. Obviously it is an unhealthy, unproductive, and boring idea one can possibly have. If I were perfectly and fully being Ina, I won't get bored anymore, I think.
BlackBerry� 에서 보냈습니다.
